“no shame in quitting.”
“at least I tried”
“No one would blame me for giving up.”
“It’s to hard for me.”
“There is no way.”
These are not statements that come from a mindset to achieve success.
These are statements that arise from fear. The fear of falling, fear of trying, fear of what others think, and fear that you can’t or won’t be good enough. Maybe fear of getting back up from the possible fall that hasn’t happened. Fear is important, it lets us know when there are risks. Fear magnifies those risks and obstacles that might be in the way of our success. This is a great tool, but many of us have used it as an excuse to not succeed, rather than a tool for success.
When you can control your fear, you can give attention to those magnified risks and obstacles while still looking at the larger picture. Fear helps give you the foresight to be prepared for those risks and obstacles before hand. Letting you know the issues that might arise and letting you know how difficult it might be to handle them.
When you get to caught up in the magnifications fear can create on those negatives, they begin to translate in your mind as something overwhelming. The feeling your not good enough maybe, or that it would be to much for you to handle. The more power you give that fear the less ability you have to see ways around and through those obstacles and risks. If not kept in check fear will suck the motivation and inspiration right out of you. Usually it does so in a way that you aren’t even all that sure of what your scared of. When that happens its pretty simple, you become scared of success. Make sure when you feel fear, that you are specific and honest with yourself about what you are REALLY scared of.
Balance in all things, including fear.
You become scared of the work it takes, scared your not good enough. So scared of not knowing how to do it or get started that you won’t even try to learn or find someone to learn from. Therefore, we get locked inside our comfort zone, trying our best to have the best life we can within that zone. Many people wanting something more, dreaming of a different type of life. It all really comes down to one decision, do you want it worse than your fear of what it takes?
Most of my life I had been told by peers, teachers, and even family that while possible, my dreams were unrealistic. Many even said it would be impossible for me, given my early homeless age and many other factors. They would say I couldn’t amount to much, that I couldn’t have a successful business. Even more recently that teaching karate wasn’t a real job. That I wasn’t ‘cut out’ to be a teacher. They thought I needed to settle and do “real jobs” to make my way and mark in the world so I could raise a traditional family and so on.
I just knew it wasn’t for me
I knew I wanted to be in business at a very early age. As a young teenager I always had a side business along with my regular work. Some more successful than others but none of them lasting. All of them were difficult. Years ago I was hospitalized and lost my job. I was unable to get back into the career I had built and already found I was unhappy with. Let’s face it, most bosses in most industries, are complete jerks. I said I was going to start another business but I had nothing. One step forward at a time, finding creative ways to deal with obstacles. What I didn’t know I learned, I sought out and researched different practices, I studied every chance i got. Focused on what I could do more than what money could do, and here I am writing a blog watching my son play in the park on a weekday.
Well here I am, I’m coming for what many said was impossible. I’m doing things I was told I could never do and I have things in my life I was told I could never have. Really its already happened, and the haters from my early days have either gone quiet or switched to being motivated by what I have done. I’m already beyond what I had dreamed, and now I have new dreams, and still I will keep moving. It is a lot of work, but the best part? I get to be happy with it, and happy with myself. Being your own boss takes a ton of work and discipline.
Rest when you can, but keep discipline in your mission
Sometimes you feel tired, you keep going. After a while tired turns to weak, you keep going. Eventually you hit a point where it feels like you got nothing left. It would be easier to give up, quit, and fall on your face. Still you must dig deep into your motivators. Ignore the doubts that pop into your mind that sound like the start of this thread. Notice them, answer them, but then move on and remember that it is not you talking, but fear. Rest when you can, but stay disciplined with your mission.
In the end it will either happen, the ball will roll, or it won’t. If it doesn’t, then you learned a bunch of lessons to take into the next time. Keep trying, search for happy ways to make wealth instead of using wealth to try to find happiness. Every time you step out of that comfort zone you can learn something.
One day, it will come together.
Written by: Cory Rose
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