Character DevelopmentParenting Tips

Kids Coping With Failure

Don’t forget that people, especially kids, are SUPPOSED to fail.

They are supposed to fail a lot, and we are supposed to help them be comfortable with shrugging it off to try again.

They are supposed to fail a lot, it is part of the process. However, many people early on in their training can be easily discouraged if they can’t do something. Which is why our beginners stick to a process of building on simple motions to more and more complex.

Getting frustrated, being rude or mean about someone struggling to do something you think should be easy for them, is not going to help them learn it. Telling them they should already know it, or telling them what they are doing wrong now, is not going to help them learn it.

Remind yourself, your friends, and kids in your life that failure is part of it, as long as you don’t stay there and keep trying until you get it.

Failure should never be the last step of any thing a person tries to do.

If you are going to stop with an endeavor, don’t stop right after a failure. It takes tons of failures and thinking about them before finding the answer of how to do it right.

If you are a real leader you would encourage them through and despite their failures. Patiently being always there for them with encouraging words and gentle nudges to get them to try again, just a little differently.

If we teach people to practice a little bit of discipline and persistence now, they will learn about the enjoyment and rewards that come from moving through failure. This may be a small, easy to understand lesson when you hear it. However it is very difficult in practice, and you are there to be their #teammate through the hardest times in that process.

The goal is to subtly and slowly show others that the only thing holding them back is themselves, and that wherever they are in their process, they are exactly where they are supposed to be.

I have been injured in the weeks leading up to every single black belt exam I’ve ever taken. In those moments I had the option to feel sorry for myself and put off my advancement, or do be careful with it so it heals and work on what I could.

One of those times I broke my foot, shattered everything near my pinky toe, just 3 weeks before my 2nd Degree test. I chose to stand on one foot and practice, hold on to things and practice, practice hand techniques and forms from a chair. No one made fun of me, no one teased me, my great #teammates cheered me on even though I couldn’t be nearly at my best.

As soon as I could put weight on it fairly comfortable I added stance work back in.

I tested with the boot still on my foot, and overcoming that was huge for me. I couldn’t just wait and do it later, I had worked hard and others were relying on me to rank up and continue to learn. I even learned to do things I could never do before while injured.

I recover from most of my injuries fairly quickly without any need of physical therapy because I don’t stop doing the physical things I can just because I have an excuse to.

We show them how with persistence and discipline, nothing can hold them back for too long.

This lesson takes time, have patience with their failures. Teach them that failure is not a bad word, it is an exciting opportunity to learn more about the subject than those that can do something more naturally.

The ones who struggle the most and still make it, are the ones who end up with the most knowledge, experience, and wisdom. They make some of the greatest teachers.