Character DevelopmentParenting Tips

Honesty – It Makes You Better

By July 29, 2019 July 15th, 2020 No Comments

Honesty makes you better..

I know that sometimes an honest answer can be hard to hear. Sometimes an honest answer to a question can make you feel bad. This bad feeling really just comes from a point of ego.

Ego rarely creates progress. Getting defensive about someone being honest about something might be holding you back because your ego refuses to see what they are trying to let you know about. None of us like to think we didn’t do something right.

Mind of a beginner. ALWAYS.

Having enough humility to search out those who would be honest with you and not get defensive when they are, will help you find flaws in yourself that you can’t see. Armed with that knowledge, there is no telling how far you can go. This is why when we want to learn something new, we seek out a teacher not just to show us how, but to let us know when we aren’t doing it right.

Recognize that honesty is also a matter of perception.

What you see as truth may not be what another sees as truth. It is common in today’s world for opinions to be taken and spread as facts. Knowing the difference between the two can really help you recognize what is truth and what is not.

Each persons truth is a bit different, because each of our perceptions and points of view are different. This is why I talk about knowing your why so much. When you know why you do things, why you want to, why you think the way you do, then it helps set the foundation to be strong in your truth and integrity.

That is difficult to do if you get frustrated when someone else asks you why. Asking yourself why and knowing it very well means you have already questioned your truth. It means you have already tested it based on your knowledge and experience and this is what you have found.

Do not get upset.

When you find that someone else’s truth is different than yours. Get excited, this is a chance to expand on your why, your ideas, your technique, understanding or performance. With another set of eyes that strongly knows their own why, you can expand the knowledge that you have and potential create an even stronger why behind something.

Many people may not have questioned their own why enough to be able to give you an honesty in a way that expands your truth. Remember that this is not them being dishonest, even though you may know that what they said can’t be true. To them and their experience, that is the truth to them.

This is why it is important to understand the difference between facts and opinions. It’s also important to understand that helping someone else expand their truth doesn’t mean putting them down. Remember many of us walk around with low self esteem and high ego. Meaning many people walk around easily hurt by simple truths.

Take correction graciously, and THINK about it.

Sometimes the correction you get may not be what you needed. It is common to have a knee jerk reaction to correction such as I already know that, I’m already doing that, that doesn’t make any sense, or this guy doesn’t know what he is talking about.

Before jumping to conclusions with those excuses, take a day or two to REALLY think about the correction they gave. In martial arts its not uncommon in these circumstances that we will record you and play it back, to point out exactly when you are doing what you say you are not!

An honest person is viewed by others as someone who is trustworthy and does the right thing.

Being an honest person helps build your self-esteem because it feels good to tell the truth when it is factual and not just opinion. People often choose to be dishonest because they are afraid of the consequences and how others may view them. It compromises one’s self-esteem because most people feel bad for doing so.

If you choose to be dishonest people may no longer trust you. Recognize no matter what the consequences may be, the best choice is often to tell the truth. As the saying goes, “The truth will set you free.” Free yourself from the burden of being dishonest by always telling the truth as you see it. You  may find by listening to others that the way you remember, or the way you think, may not actually be as honest as you think, but just an opinion based on someone else’s opinion or a different experience.

Sometimes people won’t believe the truth, maybe your wrong, maybe they aren’t ready to hear it yet.

Sometimes in telling the truth others still won’t believe you, everybody has a different perspective and perception of what is going on. Telling the truth can be exceptionally hard when few people believe you. However, overall, it still makes life much easier. If what you thought was the truth turns out to be wrong, you can grow if you don’t let your ego get in the way.

Telling the truth is usually the best choice and the right thing to do. Your family and friends will see you as someone who can be trusted. You may sometimes choose to be dishonest because you are afraid of getting in trouble.

If you choose to do so, you’ll end up feeling bad about yourself. Nobody will trust you or believe what you say. So no matter what, you should always tell the truth when it is factual (not just opinion). It is the right thing to do and you will feel better about yourself knowing that you are an honest person. Tell the truth and stand by it, even if someone doesn’t believe you. Have enough compassion and respect to realize we all view the world differently.

Confidence through honesty

Teaching your children that being honest builds their self-esteem, that it is the right thing to do, and that they will be viewed as someone who is trustworthy. The reason most children choose to be dishonest is because they fear the consequences of their actions.

Share with them that telling the truth is always the best choice. Tell your children that if they choose to be dishonest, it may compromise your trust in them and they will end up feeling bad about themselves. It takes courage and integrity to tell the truth, especially when they know there may be consequences. So even if they did something to get in trouble, always let them know that you are proud of them for being honest.

You can encourage honesty in your children by reassuring them that you will still love and support them even if they choose to be dishonest or make mistakes. Share with them that if they choose to tell you the truth after the fact, you can help them learn from the mistakes of their actions.

Let your children know that being an honest person feels so much better and is the right thing to do.

See below this video for some power phrases and questions to use as mantra’s, family motto’s, or simply teach kids about honesty.

Honesty Week Power Phrase’s & Questions.

Honesty Power Phrase’s:

I WILL TRY, NOT TO LIE

I WILL, DEFINE MY TRUTH

I WILL STAY TRUE EVEN IF IT MEANS CHANGING WHAT I THINK.

Honesty Power Questions:

What does honesty mean? TELL THE TRUTH

If you lie to stay out of trouble, are you helping or showing honesty? NO SIR

If you tell someone (parent?) you did something that you didn’t, are you showing honesty? NO SIR

If you are afraid of being in trouble, does honesty help you through it faster? YES SIR (goes with we all get in trouble some times mat chat, about how we can get through it faster by owning up and doing what we have to do through consequences)

 

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